Tips on dealing with your Mother-in-Law
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Tips on dealing with your Mother-in-Law
Mother-in-Laws
Relationships with our mother-in-laws can be great, but they can also be tricky. Last year we surveyed our members to find out how well they got on with their mother-in-law. A third of parents admitted they didn't have a good relationship and another third said they dreaded her visits and felt judged about their parenting and the housework.
If your relationship is not always harmonious members have put together some top tips to cope and help smooth any troubled waters.
Don't criticise her in front of your partner
Many mums told us that their mother-in-law's behaviour led to rows between themselves and their husbands or partners.
However, mums advise NEVER to criticise your mother in law in front of your partner. You would be criticising his own mother and that - you tell us- is a definite 'No-no'.
Find another sounding board if things are getting to you!
Take her advice with a pinch of salt!
Take your mother-in-laws comments and advice with a large pinch of salt.
This was something that so many mums advised.
Keep smiling!
Bite your tongue, put on a smile, nod politely ... and then do it your own way.
This message came across loud and clear from the mums we surveyed as the best way to deal with any comments you felt were interfering or critical of your skills as a mum or a wife.
Take a deep breath
Patience is the key!
Take deep breaths, stay calm and try not to argue.
Try to let it all flow over you.
Set clear boundaries
Many of you told us that it is wise to lay down clear boundaries and ground rules from the off.
Politely make your stand and let her know if anything she says or does is just not on (as diplomatically as you can).
Let your partner deal with her
A useful tip to avoid any clashes. Let your partner or husband deal with her.
Put some distance between you
So many of you said that you found putting distance between you and your mother in law was the best way forward. And you were not talking about emotional distance but real miles!
One mum said the answer to dealing with a fraught relationship was to "live 250 miles away!"
Talk to her
Communicate with her, talk and listen and try to be open and honest.
This - many of you feel - is the best way to build on your relationship.
Be yourself and try to relax.
Involve her with your children
Whether you have a good relationship with your mother-in-law or not, she is a part of your child's family and your child's life.
Mums say give her a job that makes her feel needed and involve her in a way that works for you. Perhaps she can help out with childcare every now and then or take the children out on a trip?
Let her deal with your children in her own way.
Perhaps even ask her advice to make her feel more involved too (you don't have to take it!)
Bring out coffee and cake
We like this simple tip.
Make sure there is plenty of coffee and cake when she visits.
If that's in place it will all be OK!
Treasure her
It's not all negative and doom and gloom. Over 60% of you told us you had a good relationship with your mother-in-law. So many of you told us she was supportive, helpful and a real 'treasure'.
Remember if you have sons then you may be a mother-in-law one day too.
