Tips for an organised, happy home
If you're drowning in a sea of Lego and building bricks, and it's starting to get you down, there are ways you can make things better.
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Your home will never return to that pre-kids calm, clean oasis of perfectly pouffed cushions and scented candles, but the tips in this section, taken from our book, How to Be a Happy Mum, will hopefully show that a little home organisation goes a long way and can end up saving both time and money ...
Top 10 organisational tips
- Observe where certain stuff accumulates and design the house around that rather than trying to get your family to fit your systems. For example, you may find that they bring their drawing paper and crayons onto the kitchen table and that each day you have to tidy the table before tea. So can you find a place for a small basket or box that can be for art materials in the kitchen? A cupboard perhaps?
- If space allows, have one room that is your 'good' or clean room. Have no toys in there and no food or drink at any time.
- Have a nice wicker basket in every single room in the house. Use it for chucking in any toys that are on the floor of that room. Every so often you can carry a basket to the play room or bedroom, returning everything to its rightful home, but it means that on a day to day basis there is always a place in every room to chuck toys when it's all getting too much.
- Have a shoe box in the hall, or porch or utility room - don't even try a shoe rack: you'll spend ages putting shoes in and getting frustrated when no one else does. Have a nice basket or box that everyone can chuck their shoes and trainers in. Also when you're tidying up, you can just throw all stray shoes in as you go.
- Have a place for your house/car keys. Put them in the same place every single time; it will eventually become a habit.
- Never underestimate the power of flowers. Pop a bunch of fresh flowers in the room where you spend the most time and you will find your eyes drawn to them rather than the less attractive stains and scuffs.
- Keep a bottle of washing-up liquid and a cloth in your bathroom and every day squirt and wipe round the sink, bath and shower. It takes maybe one or two minutes at most and you'll find you never have to 'clean' the bathroom.
- Spend ten minutes on one non-essential job every day. It is amazing how doing these jobs adds up to a clutter-free home. Don't tackle 'a room' or 'the house'. Just do this one small extra job each day.
- Let the light in. It is amazing how much extra light a cleaned window lets in and the light brightens and freshens up everything in the home.
- Remember these wise words: 'If in doubt, throw it out' and 'If it's not beautiful or useful, get rid of it.'
Prioritising in the home
It's so much better to do a little each day - that way you will find you are keeping on top of things with very little extra effort.
Can you sit down and have a think about tasks and duties in the home? Divide these into three areas: essential, useful and life's too short. Keep this list beside the kettle for a few days and add to it as you go along - you won't think of everything straight away.
For each job you do, allocate it to one of these three categories. For each job you notice needs to be done but you don't get to do, put it in a category.
This system might help:
Essential - e.g:
Feeding the kids, having clean underwear for the whole family, getting to school on time
Useful - e.g:
Cleaning the fridge, washing the kitchen floor, cleaning out the broom cupboard
Life's too short - e.g:
Home-made pasta, darning socks
When you think the list is complete, sit down with a coffee and review it. Move things from one category to another if appropriate. Can you commit to keeping up to date with the Essential list each day/week? Can you spend just 15 minutes each day on the Useful list? Go through it item by item, doing one thing each day.
Housework - staying on top
Realise that you need to do a wash every day when you have a family. If you miss one, you need to do two the next time so you don't fall behind and end up overwhelmed by a mountain of washing.
If you wash clothes carefully you'll save time by minimising on ironing - don't overload your washing machine and fold sheets to the size of half a pillowcase before you put them in the machine - they'll come out hardly creased.
Don't iron unless you have too - most children's clothes don't need it; neither do pyjamas, sheets, jeans, most T-shirts or knitwear. If you and your partner both need your work clothes ironed, consider a local ironing service - take a look at our household help page for details.
Odd socks have driven many mums to madness! This is a problem that can never be eliminated but it can be reduced if you train everyone in the house to put their socks together as they take them off and before they go in the wash basket. And don't put any sock into the washing machine that doesn't have a partner!
Colour-coding socks (e.g. all your partners socks are black and each child has one colour of sock so you only buy socks in that colour for them) eliminates the time-wasting 'whose sock is whose?' activity.
Put freshly washed clothes on a bed or on the landing and add next to it a pile of clothes that you've picked up around the house and bathroom and tackle the whole lot at the same time. Perhaps while the children are in the bath if they are old enough, or just afterwards when they are relaxed and can play quietly in their room while you potter around them.
If clothes have been worn but aren't dirty, fold them and put them back. It's good for the environment and reduces the amount of work.
Paperwork, appointments & children's parties
First things, first - buy a family calendar. It's not just useful, it's essential! It's vital to keep abreast of the week's events by staying on top of paperwork and entering everything on the calendar. Missing an occasional doctor's appointment is just about forgivable but missing a friend's child's birthday party or your own child's school play is something you can't risk.
Tips
- Deal with school letters, forms, permission slips, requests for money, school trips etc. as soon as they come in and send them back to school the next day whenever possible.
- Have an in-tray: put bills that need to be paid, calls that need to be made, insurance that needs to be sorted, queries and so on in your in-tray.
- Set aside a little time, twice a week to deal with paperwork.
- The business desk rule of 'don't touch a piece of paper more than once' is good for home paperwork too. When you sit down with your in-tray a piece of paper should not be returned to the in-tray. It should either be dealt with, filed or thrown away.
- Have a supply of stamps, envelopes and writing paper in the same place as your cheque book.Get as many bills and outgoings as possible put on direct debit.
- Put all receipts into an envelope and sort through them every month or few months.
- Have a filing system: one place for all your paperwork with subdivisions: this can be a cardboard box and some cardboard A4 folders: one for cars (tax, insurance, mot, log books etc); one for tax: P45s, P60s, tax forms, letters etc; and one for utility bills (gas electric, phone etc).
- If you don't trust yourself to mark everything on your calendar, most mobile phones can be programmed to send you a text on a certain date, i.e. the day before a birthday, deadline or event.
- Buy birthday cards in bulk and every so often have an art session with the children so you have some nice home-made cards to send to grandparents, aunts etc. Buy wrapping paper in bulk, too.
- Start a present drawer. When you're out and see something suitable, maybe on special offer, buy one or even two depending on your cash flow, and keep it in your present drawer.
Four Really Useful Things
Collect and collate the contents of these:
1. A VIP (Very Important Paperwork box)
Have a special place designated for Passports, birth certificates, driving licences, cheque books, paying in books, savings books.
2. A First Aid kit
An old biscuit box makes a great first aid box. Gather the essentials: antibacterial cream (with local anaesthetic), insect sting cream, plasters, thermometer, etc.
3. A list of phone numbers
You need your phone numbers in an easily accessible place that isn't going to get lost. If your child is at school, bring a piece of paper and pen and jot down as many mums phone numbers and mobile numbers as possible. Record RSVP numbers from party invitations.
If you have them in your mobile that's fine, but if you lose your phone you've lost lots of important data. A top tip is to start an Excel spreadsheet on your computer and add all your names and numbers to it as well as to your mobile. Update it as often as you get a new number. You can also print a copy off for the wall or the fridge.
4. Mum's box of useful stuff
Put these items on your shopping list and assemble them over the next few weeks. Think about what else you might find useful. Put everything in a box, or a drawer or even a bag hung in a cupboard under the stairs. Ideally in a secret location!
- Safety pins
- Sewing kit
- Screwdrivers
- Tweezers
- Torch
- Spare batteries
- Candles
- Box of matches
- Spare set of keys
- Tape measure
- Scissors
- Tape
- Corkscrew
A final thought ...
Frantic tidying, cleaning and feeling anxious about the state of the house is a classic sign of stress - as it is an attempt to get back on top of things when you are feeling like control of your life is slipping.
Your actions could be an attempt to claw back emotional control by focusing on your immediate physical environment. If this is the case, no amount of cleaning will bring you the peace of mind you are craving. You'll just end up exhausted.
Ask yourself: are you OK?
When you find yourself getting stressed about the house ask yourself: What am I feeling? How am I feeling? What is really going on with me? What is on my mind? What am I worried about? What would help you to feel better about that situation? Is there someone you can talk to about it?
If you get a day when the house is in complete chaos, walls are closing in and it's all making you feel like screaming, just stop. Just get out of the house. Pack a picnic and if it's a nice day, go to the park, or if it's raining put your wellies on and go and splash in puddles and picnic in the car. Or phone a friend and tell her you can't stay indoors another moment and invite yourself round for coffee.
You're not going to achieve anything useful in this mood so the general consensus is the best thing to do is just get out of the house. Yes, it will all be there when you get back, but if you've had a chat or a laugh, had some fresh air or looked up at the sky, you will find your sense of perspective has been restored and you can see it for what it is: household chores that just don't matter (much).
