11 things you need to stop doing for your teenager
Okay, so we’re probably all guilty of overparenting at various points in our kids' lives. But if you’ve got teenagers, there are certain things you really should stop doing for them. No matter how hard it is to let go* … (*Yep, we’re dreading this as well.)
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When your child is little it’s impossible to imagine them as a teenager. But suddenly your toddler is 13 and desperately wants some independence.
And to help prepare them for the real world, there are certain things you really ought to stop doing.
After all, when they are at Uni or working, you can’t still be making their packed lunch or ironing all their shirts. No, really you can’t.
So, deep breaths and get ready to stop doing these things. Your kids will (eventually) thank you for it. Promise!
1 Micromanaging his life
Long gone are the days when you ruled the diary – music class in the morning, football lessons in the afternoon – and spent your life packing the nappy bag ready for every eventuality.
When your kid hits the teens, he needs to be (pretty much) in charge of his day – including sorting out and packing what he needs for it.
It might seem brutal at first, but you’ll be surprised at how quickly he'll realise forgetting his homework sucks. (Hello detention).
2 Doing all his laundry ...
And by this we mean *stop scooping all the dirty clothes off the floor, washing it and putting it back in his drawers*.
When your teen wants to go out with his mates and realises his favourite t-shirt is still screwed up under the bed where he left it, he’ll soon get the hang of the ‘quick wash’ button.
3 … and changing his bedding
Okay, you’re probably going to have to remind him about this one. But at some point you really do need to let him start stripping - and making - his own bed.
(Although it's probably too late to teach your OH the same life skill. Sorry.)
4 Waking him up
Remember all those sleepless nights and ridiculously early mornings when he was a baby? Yep, well now he is a teenager the last thing he'll EVER want to do is wake up.
And while it can feel really tempting to wake him up at 5am every day as payback (just us?), he needs to learn to wake himself up.
If this means being late for school once or twice until he gets the hang of setting the alarm clock, then so be it.
5 Making him snacks
No really, if he is hungry he can make it himself. Or buy it with his own money. Which leads us on to ...
6 Giving him money
And by that we mean random handouts whenever he's run out of his own money.
By all means give him pocket money that he earns - or encourage him to get a job - but the sooner he learns he can’t rely on £20 windfalls from the Bank of Mum and Dad, the better.
7 Buying him stuff
We don’t mean a total crackdown on buying clothes or goodies. But instead of buying whatever he needs - new trainers? Sure. Upgraded phone? No problem - make it clear that it’s up to him to save up for it.
And on the plus side, you’ll suddenly have loads more spare cash. Whoop!
8 Being his back-up plan
Of course you’ll always be there if he REALLY needs you. But if he forgets his sports kit/ leaves his coursework at home then it’s time to be tough and say, well, tough.
We know it’s hard but he’ll only learn how to leave the house with everything he needs (and yes, that does include keys and money) if he realises you won’t be his personal delivery service.
9 Doing his homework
This one, quite frankly, can’t come soon enough - the homework is bloody impossible!
But as he gets older, your teen needs to learn to do his coursework on his own. And that means doing his own research and asking his teacher for help if he needs it.
10 Answering for him
This is one of the hardest things to do - but when your child hits their teens, you need to let him speak for himself.
Whether that’s ordering a meal in a restaurant or holding his own in a debate about Gogglebox with the grandparents, fight the temptation to step in and speak on his behalf.
11 Holding yourself responsible if he does badly in a class
We know this is a toughie, but there comes a point in your teenager’s life when he has to take responsibility for his actions.
And if that means he fails a maths test because he was too busy Snapchatting his mates to revise, then that it's his fault.
Obviously if your teen is becoming totally social media-obsessed, then you'll need to step in. But he needs to take responsibility for the everyday day choices he makes.
Good luck!
What have you stopped doing for your teenager? Why not join the chat in our Coffeehouse forum.
