15 things mums who took a while to get pregnant know
Most women get pregnant within 12 months. But for some it can take much longer – around one in seven couples may have problems conceiving. Which can mean a while of ‘scheduled sex’, reading up on everything you can about boosting your fertility … and a growing fear that you’ll never be a mum.
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All of which makes the moment you see the positive blue line on your pregnancy test even more incredible … not to mention the moment you FINALLY get to hold your baby in your arms.
Here are 15 things mums who took a while to get pregnant know.
1 Spontaneous sex is OUT
Remember the days when sex was fun, naughty and spur-of-the-moment?
FREE NEWBORN NAPPIES
When you spend years trying to get pregnant, that great sex life quickly goes out of the window.
And in its place is ‘scheduled’ sex to hit your peak fertile window, meaning you should have sex every two to three days during your cycle according to experts.
Exhausted? Not in the mood? 4am as you both have to be out at work early? No matter ...
After a while of this, even your OH has had enough. Which is why it’s such a relief to get a normal sex life back after (finally) having your baby.
2 You know EVERYTHING about ovulation
From checking your temperature – it rises slightly just after you ovulate – to weeing on sticks (that's ovulation sticks) and talking about your discharge (yep, it becomes your new obsession), you become the EXPERT on ovulation.
So much so, your diary is cleared of boozy nights out with mates and instead there are crosses marking your peak fertile window – meaning no alcohol and even more sex.
Aaagh ...
3 You eat everything that is meant to be ‘fertility boosting’ ...
Leafy vegetables, eggs, bananas … anything you can find that's meant to help with fertility.
And while it definitely makes you healthier, having to avoid your favourite takeaway and bottle of wine only makes the endless trying for a baby even MORE disheartening.
4 … and you buy everything that promises to help you get pregnant
From fertility apps to ovulation tracking bracelets and the latest high-tech fertility monitors, anything that promises to help you get pregnant.
Which means as soon as you DO get pregnant, you shove them in a drawer and hope you won’t need them next time.
5 Everyone tells you ‘it will happen when you relax’
Seriously, if one more person utters the phrase, ‘you’ll get pregnant when you relax’, you’ll scream.
You’d LOVE to stop feeling so stressed about not getting pregnant. But that’s easier said than done.
Mindfulness, meditation or reflexology it is then.
But you know you’ll never truly de-stress until you see the positive line on the pregnancy test …
6 Literally EVERY woman you see is pregnant
Okay, not every woman. But when you’ve spent ages trying to get pregnant, it can seem like everywhere you go you’re surrounded by women with bumps.
Which can feel like a constant reminder that you’re not one of them.
7 You find it hard when friends announce their pregnancies …
… especially followed by the line ‘it happened the first time we tried!’
Of course, deep down, you’re happy for them – you wouldn’t want anyone to go through the pain of what you’re experiencing – but it can be tough to handle.
Especially when yet another month passes for you with no positive pregnancy test.
8 You spend ages lying with your legs up against the wall after sex
Because you've heard friends say this will help things along.
Experts have said this is a myth, but interestingly, there has been research on stress management therapy, including visualisation techniques.
A small study from Ben Gurion University in Israel, found women undergoing IVF who imagined themselves being on a beach, significantly increased their chances of pregnancy.
If it's supposed to make you feel less stressed, you'll try anything.
9 Getting your period makes you cry
When your period arrives, you cry because yet another cycle has passed with no pregnancy.
If you’ve been trying for more than a year, make an appointment to see your GP. If you’re over 35 or have had an ectopic pregnancy in the past, go and see your doctor sooner.
10 Your OH feels just as helpless
Your OH feels just as stressed, scared and frustrated as you. He’s probably Googling ‘male infertility’ and making plans to quit smoking, wear looser pants and cut down on the booze.
Keep talking to each other, or contact support organisations like the Fertility Network.
11 You find it hard when pregnant friends or colleagues complain
It can be hard hearing people going on about their bad night's sleep or feeling tired, due to pregnancy. And you have to bite back the comment that at least they ARE pregnant.
But as soon as you get pregnant, you find yourself complaining about sleepless nights thanks to your baby kicking and constant heartburn.
Oops.
12 You wonder if anyone will ever call you mummy
As the time passes with still no pregnancy, you seriously begin to wonder if you’ll ever have a baby … and if anyone will ever call you ‘mummy’.
Don't forget there are fertility tests you and your OH can have, including sperm tests and blood tests to check ovulation. Ask your GP for advice.
13 You've tried EVERY position going
Missionary, doggy style .... you’ve tried every position that’s meant to increase your chances of getting pregnant.
And you’re starting to seriously wonder if you can add ‘watch telly during sex’ to the list.
Especially as you suspect your OH would be up for it as well.
14 You check out all the options
If you've been trying for a year or more, chances are you'll have started exploring your options.
Which means reading up on IVF, IUI and fertility drugs.
Your GP will be able to refer you to a fertility specialist or, alternatively, you can pay for private treatment.
As a guide, one round of IVF can cost upwards of £5,000.
15 When it FINALLY happens you can't actually believe it
Cue peeing on about 30 sticks to double, triple, QUADRUPLE check you're really pregnant.
You are – congratulations!
How long did it take you to get pregnant? And do you have any tips for other women trying to conceive? Why not join the chat in our Coffeehouse forum, below, for women having problems getting pregnant.
