10 things every mum in a WhatsApp group knows
Wendy Golledge
Associate EditorThe familiar ping of a WhatsApp message can be a lifeline when you’re feeding your baby in the middle of the night. But when there are a million messages on the school WhatsApp group chat, before 9am, just to set up one coffee date, not so much.
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When your child start nursery or school for the first time there are a few givens. You'll feel happy, proud, sad, nervous, excited ... and you'll probably cry.
These days, there's also another given, your introduction to the social minefield that is the mums' WhatApp group.
What was once reserved for playground chit chat now takes place via WhatsApp – everything from party organisation and invitations to play-dates rotas and mums' nights out are discussed via the mums WhatsApp group.
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Like any social group, WhatsApp can be useful, supportive and – on the day you get stuck at work and need someone to pick your little one up ASAP – an absolute lifeline.
But as any mum in multiple WhatsApp groups knows, the near constant pings can drive you to distraction, the endless chats about who started the nits epidemic will be more persistent than your kids when they're hungry and, as for the social pitfalls should you dare to go quiet or (whisper it) leave a group, don't get us started!
If instant message groups are taking over your life, you're sure to recognise some of these truths ...
1 There’s always someone who REALLY loves emojis
Which means messages filled with baby bottles, tired faces, sad faces, cakes and wine glasses. And the occasional clinking beer glasses emoji ... which you’re pretty sure she doesn’t know can also mean something else entirely. (Yep...)
2 And someone who types in CAPS FOR EVERYTHING LIKE SHE'S SHOUTING
Another shouty voice is not what you need when your kids have been screaming for what feels like hours.
3 You lose track of what you’re all talking about
You’re sure the conversation started with trying to figure out what this week's homework is.
But 178 messages later, but the time you've covered whether CBeebies’ Mr Bloom or Andy is more fanciable, whether 5pm is too early to start drinking Prosecco and whether it's ok to have illicit dreams about the Hot Priest in Fleabag, you’ve completely forgotten what the original question was.
4 The paranoia is real
That moment when you ask if anyone fancies meeting up at the park on the 'kids playdate' WhatsApp group and it goes eerily silent.
Cue paranoia about why no one is answering (‘Aagh, do they all hate me?’) and FOMO that they're all doing something without you ('I bet they've set up a separate group').
You become neurotic about checking your ticks, waiting for them to turn from grey (message delivered) to blue (message read). They're all blue. And still no-one answers. Is everyone ignoring you, or are they just busy?
They don’t hate you, honest ... they’ve probably just reached …
5 … Ping overload
Yep, the moment when the relentless ping of another WhatsApp message finally breaks you.
Time to put your phone on silent.
Just be prepared for 89 unread messages when you look again, which you'll feel compelled to read just in case you miss something vital.
6 You want to leave the conversation, but daren't
When you’ve had enough at a party, it’s easy to sidle out unnoticed. On WhatsApp? We wish!
If you want to leave a group conversation, everyone knows thanks to the big ‘X has left this chat’ message WhatsApp so kindly shares.
Cue a flurry of ‘You OK hun?’ private messages.
Who's brave enough to leave first?
7 You have tick anxiety
You know those times when you want to know what your mates are messaging about, but just can’t be bothered to reply.
To avoid the two blue ticks giving you away and showing you've read their messages, you try and guess as much as you can from the message preview.
We've found a genius hack to get round this ... you can thank us later!
When you receive a message, don't open it. Instead, dismiss the notification from your phone’s home screen. Then put your phone on airplane mode, open the message and read.
Voila, no blue ticks!
8 You keep getting added to random groups
... usually by people you barely know.
Which means social awkwardness as you read all their in-jokes and have no idea what they are talking about. Or who they are.
Which kind of feels like being the odd one out at playgroup again.
But in your own home.
9 You'll be inundated with images in your phone gallery
Your phone's picture gallery will end up jammed with everything from pictures of your mates' random meals and babies pulling funny faces, to Tom Hardy's storytelling on CBeebies and little Fred's grazed knee.
Another top tip: go into your settings to switch off the media auto download option. (But maybe keep the Tom Hardy pics).
10 You WILL make a multiple group slip up
Let's face it we've all done it.
You go on a mega rant about a school mum's appalling behaviour on a night out to your 'Besties' group, only to realise you’ve mistakenly sent the message to the 'Year 1 Mums' group. So the whole class can see it. Including the mum in question. Will you ever live down the shame?
The only solution is to delete the message (tap and hold the message, then select delete for everyone) and hope not many people saw your faux pax.
Just prepare yourself for a barrage of 'what did you delete hun?' questions as What'sApp will helpfully tell everyone you've deleted a message.
The School Run by Helen Whittaker is a laugh-out-loud story about two mums battling for one school place. See more details here at Amazon.
Are you part of a WhatsApp group? Why not pop over to our share your funny stories in our forum thread, below.
Need advice?
Our health visitors and nursery nurses are on line Monday to Friday evenings to answer your queries on feeding, sleep and child health.
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This article contains affiliate links, which means we may earn a small amount of money if a reader clicks through and makes a purchase. All our articles and reviews are written independently by the Netmums editorial team.
