Single parent advice
If you've recently become a single parent you may be feeling a little overwhelmed. You may be struggling the practical implications of your new set-up, or coping with feelings of loneliness.
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It takes time for everyone to get used to the transition, and as a parent your main concern will be how to support your child through the process. But it's important to look after yourself too, and to seek help if you need it. Which is where this page may help - it's designed to offer some basic advice for single parents - tips to help you keep your head above the water - and point you in the direction of other places you can go to for support.
Feeling alone?
It's hard, especially when the kids are in bed, you're exhausted and the house feels empty, but try to keep in mind that you're not alone - there are currently 1.9 million single parents in the UK. There are also lots of parent to parent support networks where you can meet in person and chat online, allowing you to talk to others who are in the same situation. You'll find details of websites where you can find out more at the bottom of this page.
Worried about your mental health?
Coming out the other side of separation is no easy feat, but many single parents suffer feelings of failure, depression and low self-esteem in the early days. Don't bottle your feelings up, but if you find it hard to open up to friends or family, you may find counselling or therapy can help - this provides a confidential, non-judgemental space where you can work through your feelings. Your GP should be able to put you in touch with services in your area.
Is work 'working out'?
You may be worried about keeping on top of your finances at the moment. But you may also be feeling stretched if you are doing the majority of the childcare and parenting. Now may be the time to ask about flexible work - your employer is legally obliged to at least consider your request. Just re-arranging your work commitments can take a huge stress off your shoulders. Visit our work pages to find out about flexible working and how to request it.
How are your finances?
You've probably already come to a financial arrangement with your ex, sorted out your new benefits and entitlements, and worked out a revised household budget. If this leaves you little to play around with, you may be feeling anxious - how will you entertain the kids, cover day trips and special events, or take them on holiday? Try not to worry that your kids are missing out. There are so many ways you can have fun together on a budget - browse our site for ideas on free fun, special offers and competitions, plus our nearly new and noticeboard are bargain treasure troves, packed with toys, clothes and other items.
Need a break?
It's important to take time out, either alone or with your children. If you need to get away from pressures at home, don't be afraid to ask a family member if they can babysit or have the kids overnight so you can have some time to yourself. Try to make the most of the times when your ex has the children - it's tempting to devote that time to housework or other mundane tasks, but if you can reserve just a bit of time to do something just for you (read a book, meet a friend for coffee, go for a run) you'll feel like you've had a bit of a break from domestic pressures.
Perhaps you'd all benefit from a change of scenery. There are several travel companies that arrange holidays for single parents, but if your finances won't stretch that far, think closer to home. Can you stay with friends for the weekend, perhaps? Getting away from it all can be a great tonic for both you and the kids.
Scared you'll never move on?
You will. Eventually your new circumstances won't feel so strange and things that felt like huge obstacles in the early days you will navigate with ease. You'll gradually fall into your own routine, and with the support of those who care for you and your family, single life will start to feel 'normal'. Like all stressful events in life, time can heal painful scars but do always keep in mind there are people and organisations that can help whenever you're struggling.
Useful organisations/websites
Gingerbread - advice on all aspect of being a single parent.
One Space - info-packed website, plus local support and events.
Moneysavingexpert - bookmark this site, your gateway to saving money.
Relate - not just couples counselling; family counselling may help you make sense of your relationship breakup.
