15 secret (and slightly gross) things pregnant women do
Pregnancy has got a lot to answer for. Not only does it change your body in the weirdest ways, it makes you do all sorts of strange things – some you might previously have thought were a bit yucky.
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From wetting yourself every time you laugh through to wiping away under-boob sweat when no one is looking, here’s a light-hearted look at 15 secret (and slightly gross) things pregnant women do … but won’t admit to.
Any you’d add to the list?
1 You fart all the time
And not just quiet parps that you can disguise with a cough. Nope, pregnancy farts are ridiculously loud. And often super smelly.
FREE NEWBORN NAPPIES
You can thank the increase in the hormone progesterone which relaxes muscle tissue and slows down your digestion. This then leads to bloating and a build up of wind.
All of which usually comes out – trumpet style – on a train, in a meeting or in the women's toilets.
Cringe
2 You scratch your nipples in public
Pregnancy affects your body in so many weird ways ... including giving you itchy nipples.
This irritated skin issue is partly due to hormones and partly down to your boobs growing, causing the skin around your nipples to stretch.
All of which means having to try and discretely scratch your nipples in public – which is not easy – by rubbing your arm against them. Or giving your nipples a stealthy squeeze to relieve the itching.
Cue odd looks from EVERYONE around you.
3 You wipe your under-boob sweat when no one is looking
Pregnancy causes your body temperature to rise, meaning you sweat like nothing else.
The absolute worst is the under-boob sweat that creates an embarrassing line of sweat on your top.
The only solution is to shove your hand up your top and wipe the sweat away when you (hope) no one is looking.
4 You have to wear a panty liner because of your discharge
Yep, we know no one talks about discharge. But in pregnancy, there’s no avoiding it ...
It’s totally normal to have increased clear and runny discharge in pregnancy. (Keep an eye on it and tell your GP if you think it smells or looks unusual, or if you have pain, itching or soreness in case of an infection such as thrush, which can be easily treated.)
But by your third trimester, discharge may increase so you have to wear a sanitary pad or panty liner to control it. Ewwww.
But it’s a good job you’ve got a pad in your knickers, because …
5 You wee in your pants
All the time.
Not only is your bladder now the size of a pea, your baby has developed a habit of jumping on it at the worst moments. And that means you wet yourself a bit during your morning commute, at work, in the queue at the supermarket, when you sneeze or laugh ...
As your bump gets bigger and bigger, expect to have some wee in your pants at all times.
And not really care.
6 You eat chalk (yes, really)
From seaweed to chalk, pregnancy makes you crave the strangest things.
And although you know it’s weird, you just can’t help it. In fact, a survey found nearly half of mums-to-be were embarrassed by their pregnancy cravings.
Eating non-food items like chalk is called pica. Talk to your midwife if you find yourself craving – and eating – items like this.
7 You squeeze your boobs to see if milk comes out
Your body can start producing milk as early as 14 weeks into your pregnancy.
And as you get closer to your due date, you just *might* be tempted to squeeze your boobs to see if any colostrum comes out. (Come on, surely it's not just us who've done this?!)
8 You walk around with loo roll in your pants
Ever gone into a public loo cubicle after a pregnant woman to find there’s no loo roll? That’s because it’s all in her knickers.
Yep, the wee/ discharge general leakage situation in pregnancy means you often have to put a wad of loo roll in your pants.
And if you weren’t already walking like a cowboy thanks to your thighs chafing, the roll of Andrex in your undies means you’ll definitely start.
9 You become obsessed with your piles
It’s not unusual to develop piles in pregnancy (swellings containing enlarged blood vessels found inside or around the bottom), thanks to hormones making your veins relax.
Cue googling if you should try and push the piles back in.
And plucking up the courage to talk to your doctor about them. *Blushes*.
10 You binge-watch birth videos
You’re so over Netflix.
Instead, you binge-watch real birthing videos to prepare you for the big day.
Although you’re not sure how much all those ‘crowning’ scenes are really helping … ouch.
11 You carry freezer bags around to throw up in
Bleugh. Morning sickness (which, hello, is NOT just in the mornings thank you very much) means you have no control over when you vomit.
And rather than throw up over complete strangers or in the street, you carry a roll of freezer bags in your handbag to be sick in.
The worst bit is then having to carry your sick around until you can find a bin. (And to make matters even worse, you’ll probably have wet yourself a bit when you were throwing up. Sob.)
12 You become obsessed with doing a poo
That pesky progesterone also means you’re so constipated, you can’t remember the last time you actually went for a poo.
This means you spend ages straining away on the loo – and farting like a trumpet.
But when you do finally go, you REALLY go.
Eek.
13 You drool so much your pillow is wet
Ugh, there’s nothing quite so gross as waking up from a night’s sleep to find your pillow soaked through from drool.
Increased saliva in pregnancy – known as ptyalism or hypersalivation – can occur in early pregnancy and if you have morning sickness.
All of which means you drool more than a teething baby. Help!
14 You have crumbs in your bra at all times
No matter what you eat, half of it always ends up down your top and in your maternity bra.
And you simply haven’t got the energy to clear the crumbs out.
Which is a slight problem because …
15 You wear the same maternity bra EVERY DAY
Okay, you know you’re meant to wash your bra a couple of times a week. But given your maternity bra is the only one that fits, you wear it every single day.
No wonder you have itchy nipples from all those crumbs floating around ...
What’s your most embarrassing pregnancy symptom? Head over to our Coffeehouse forum, below, and join the chat.
