Postnatal Depression - getting help
There are many ways to seek help for postnatal depression. Getting help and advice from your GP or Health Visitor is a good starting point, where you will have an opportunity to talk to someone in confidence.
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Your GP may recommend Counselling or Antidepressants and can provide information about local and national support groups. Here are some of the sources of help available to you.
Netmums Parent Supporters
As part of our Parent Support Programme Netmums are working in association with Unite/CPHVA (association for health visitors) and we have some Health Visitors on our forums ready to listen and offer practical and emotional help, information, support and guidance.
Find out more about the parent supporter service or go straight to our PND and Depression Support Forum.
Other mums' experiences
Missy ...
"It's hard to explain how I feel. but I feel like I'm going to lose it ... that I have a boiling feeling in me, a pressure building up, more than ever ... that I need to go and be alone and try and sort my head out ... but there is just no way. I'm never going to be free of this."
With support of our Parent Supporters, Missy opened up some more and was encouraged to carry on taking her full dose of antidepressant and also talk to a sure start play leader and receive local support to help her feel better.
Gemma ...
"I think I might be winning the battle with PND at last, I've had a couple of good days now and not thought about doing anything silly to myself for a little while!! It's probably just the tablets kicking in at last. The only thing is I feel so guilty feeling better as I don't think I deserve to yet as I took the cheat's way out with tablets because I wasn't strong enough to fight it on my own. I can't help but worry that I might go to go back to how I used to feel. Anyway not sure why I'm posting this, suppose it's where I'm not a 100% yet"
Michelle our PND Parent Supporter reassures her:
"Hi Gemma,You're not cheating by taking medication to get well. In fact if you didn't then you would be cheating yourself and your family out of you getting better. You are doing exactly the right thing hun. Well done!
I'm really pleased you feel like you're having some benefit from taking the tablets now too. Please be prepared for the odd "low" day, as they are still likely to come, but with knowing now that you have good days to look forward to, you know the low times won't last."
Go to the PND and Depression Support Forum to chat to other mums and the Netmums Parent Supporters
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Local help and support
There may be help available to you locally, such as support groups or organisations that can support you.
Health visitors
Health visitors are there for the welfare of babies and children under 5 and their mothers and fathers. Amongst other things they are trained to understand postnatal illness and its effects on you and your family. They are there to support you in whatever way they can. Make an appointment to see your Health Visitor. Most will endeavour to see you in your home and you can tell them about your feelings and how things are going. Your Health Visitor's contact details should be in the Red Book you have for your child. If you don't know how to reach your Health Visitor your doctor's surgery will be able to tell you.
You can also ask your Health Visitor whether she might be able to put you in touch with another mother who suffered from post-natal depression locally. It can really help to just have a chat with someone else who's been through what you're going through. Your HV might also know about local postnatal depression support groups that you can attend.
Homestart
Phone the national Home-start line on 08000 68 63 68.
Home-Start is a charity which helps parents with young children by providing families with volunteer support. Whether you are struggling to look after several young children, or are suffering from postnatal illness, loneliness, children’s behavioural problems, disability or ill-health, Home-Start are there to help.
As the UK's leading family support charity, Home-Start has 337 local offices, known as Schemes. Through these more than 10,000 volunteers help over 60,000 families each year.
Home-Start provides an informal, friendly family support. Very simply, volunteers offer regular support, friendship and practical help to young families under stress in their own homes. The idea is that your Home-Start volunteer visits you regularly, in your own home, usually once a week for between two and four hours. The visits are flexible and you decide together what to do during that time.
Sometimes you may want someone to listen, someone to talk to about your concerns or problems or sometimes just someone with whom to share an adult conversation! At another time you may want some more practical support such as help to play with the children or to get the family to the shops. Volunteers are not babysitters or home helps so any practical help is given as a friend would. For many families, this simple type of support makes a world of difference. While Home-Start does not have a magic formula to take all the problems away, parents say that having a friend to confide in, to cry with, to laugh with, to talk to, can make all the difference.
Other mums experiences
Here are the experiences of two Netmums members, Sally and Tania, who found Home-Start a great source of support.
Sally...
"I had no problems after the birth of my son James, but six weeks after my daughter Charlotte was born, I was already starting to suffer from depression. I just didn't seem to have the energy to do anything, and would just sit around the house feeling guilty for not keeping on top of things. After my maternity leave finished I returned to work, but was eventually signed off sick. The doctor was sympathetic, but I was put on a long waiting list for counselling and given anti-depressants.
Learning to look after two small children seemed like the most difficult thing in the world and as we'd recently moved house, I didn't have many friends locally. I asked my health visitor for ideas and she suggested Home-Start - I wasn't really interested in 'therapy'... and couldn't afford to pay for counselling anyway, but I thought that having someone to talk to once a week would be nice...
I can't tell you what a difference it made. Wendy came round each week and we played with the children. Occasionally she'd ask how I was feeling - but really, it was just someone to share the children with, and to chat to. I would always look forward to Thursday mornings. Over time, I found I gained confidence, and started to make new friends and gradually recovered from the depression. When I was happy to go it alone, Wendy stopped visiting and is now helping other families - I owe her so much. Home-Start really is about being a friend to you - it's for 'normal' people who need some extra support... after all, for many people, bringing up young children can be the most difficult time in our lives."
Tania...
"I had two sons aged five and three and Home-Start was initially suggested by my health visitor following the birth of my second son when I experienced severe post-natal illness.
I was very nervous when Jackie first came but we hit it off very quickly. The first eight months following Luke's birth were really, really hard but Jackie was always there. I suffered from hallucinations and Jackie was often with me when this happened. I'd feel too guilty to tell my family and believed I was going mad but Jackie would comfort me and reassure me that things were OK and it would pass. I was suicidal at times and I'm sure she saved my life on a number of occasions by just being there.
The children know and love her and now see her as part of our family. She was also wonderful with my husband and was really the only person to ask how he was through all of this. There are not many people you can bare your soul to and really trust that they won't let you down. Jackie was always honest with me and provided me with lots of reassurance.
I'm so much better now. I am off anti-depressants and Jackie no longer visits but we do keep in touch. I am now a member of Home-Start's management committee and try to help in any way I can, because of what they've done for me."
Other national groups
The Association for Post-natal Illness
This a registered charity established in 1979 to provide support to mothers suffering from post-natal illness, increase public awareness of the illness, to encourage research into its cause and nature. They have a helpline and a network of telephone supporters.
Postnatal Depression Project
If you live in Scotland, this wonderful support organisation has been running for 12 years and offers a telephone helpline and one-to-one and family counselling
Helpline 0131 538 7288 www.seemescotland.org.uk
The Birth Trauma Association
Supporting women with post-natal Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or birth trauma.
www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk
Pre and Post Natal Depression Support and Advice
PANDAS Foundation vision is to support every individual with pre (antenatal), postnatal depression or postnatal psychosis in England, Wales and Scotland. They also campaign to raise awareness and remove the stigma. They also the PANDAS Help Line and Support Groups.
http://www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/
