Netmums family money diaries: separated single parent to one son

First published on Monday 3 August 2020 Last modified on Thursday 4 February 2021

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Netmums money diaries

Balancing a family budget is tougher than getting a toddler to eat broccoli, and never more than when you are a separated single parent during a global pandemic. We asked a family to share their money diary with us, detailing how they spend every single penny of their hard-earned cash over a week.

Meet the family

Mum of one: 41, self-employed communications consultant, working approximately 40 hours a week

Her husband/partner: None

Children: Six-year-old son

Lives: Altrincham, Cheshire

She says: 'At heart, I’m a worrier which I self-manage by being a planner and a ‘squirreller’.

'I use online banking every day as I keep most of my money in my savings accounts and only transfer what I need every couple of days into my current account.

 'I got smart about money when I was made redundant while on maternity leave six years ago. I used some of the redundancy package to pay down my mortgage and set up my own business as a communications consultant, which has fortunately done well.

'Four years ago, while still married to my son’s father, we moved from Hertfordshire to Cheshire to be closer to my parents. We rented out our previous home which I owned and rented up north. Two years ago I separated from my son’s father and moved to another rented house with my son, where we currently still live.

'Coronavirus saw business fall by about 30% and while it is picking up again I’ve had to dig into reserves to cover my regular outgoings. As savings rates are so pitiful I used some of my rainy day fund to pay down my mortgage on my previous home and reduce regular outgoings.

'Ideally I’d like to sell the Hertfordshire house and buy a home in Cheshire that should be pretty much mortgage-free. Removing that one major cost would open up so many more opportunities. But the housing market is sluggish at the moment so I've opted to hang onto it for now.

'I’m definitely not materialistic. I view money as something that enables choice. I know that I would have found it much harder to leave an unhealthy relationship if I wasn’t the main breadwinner and able to support myself and my son.

'I am aggrieved how little financial help there was for me as a limited company member when the lockdown happened. I couldn’t furlough myself. I still had some work coming and still wanted to have a business to come back to, so I didn’t feel I had any choice but to plough through my reserves during lockdown. Options such as mortgage holidays just pushed the problems down the line so I opted to continue paying and to pay off the remaining balance on my credit card so the credit line would be available if I really needed it.'

My income

Earnings: 'I earn around £40,000 a year but it varies as I have a small base salary approx £8k a year and dividends as and when I need them.

Take home pay: 'After tax, I bring home an income of approx £2,500 a month as mix of salary and dividends.'

Benefits: 'We get £82.80 in child benefit a month.

'I get £133.33 a month from my company as an allowance for office costs as I work from home.

'I did get a 'bounceback loan' quite easily but almost half is earmarked for VAT bills and corporation tax for the end of the tax year, and I have no idea when business will recover properly, if at all.'

My expenses

Childcare costs: £150 per month

'My ex-partner stopped contributing towards our son’s after school club and activities when we separated. So I cancelled them and relied on juggling my own workload and my parents stepping in to look after him. Finally, last year my ex started paying for one after school Spanish lesson and the occasional school trip.

'Since lockdown we’ve done one week on/one week off looking after our son as my parents are over 70 so can’t be relied upon due to health risks.

'I pay £150 per month into my mum’s account every month and have done since I started work after Uni more than 20 years ago. She spends most of this on my son and usually takes care of him a couple of days a week so I count this as a childcare expense for which I am eternally grateful.'

Housing costs: £838.04 a month mortgage repayment plus £170 council tax on a house in Herts, plus £1,050 rent and council tax in Cheshire per month.

'I rent from relatives so I have a nice house in a good area at a good price in Cheshire. I would love to sell my previous home I own in Hertfordshire and not have to manage it from 250 miles away.

'I am very fortunate to own a property when I know many mums on this site are genuinely struggling day to day. But still, my situation is not easy. My house in Hertfordshire was previously rented out for £1350 a month with a mortgage of £905.69/month and agents fees of approx £150. With the help of the bounce back loan, I’ve made an overpayment so the mortgage payments will go down to £838.04/month from this month. I’m currently between tenants so I also have to pay council tax of £179/month.

'If I could, I would buy in Cheshire and get something small without a mortgage - or a really small mortgage.'

Utility bills: £42 gas/electric, £129 council tax in Cheshire, £180 council tax in Herts, £21 water, £13.26 TV licence per month

'I did a ruthless purge in December and changed all my utilities and insurance providers and saved approx £250 over the year. I have been lazy about it in the past. Now COVID has tightened things still further, I’m glad I switched when I did.'

Food costs: £300 per month

'I am a foodie and don’t skimp on this. I try to make good, healthy food and engage my son in the process of planning and preparing as well as consuming. My ex did most of the cooking when we lived together and always bought value brands for everything. I prefer to eat less meat, but better quality. So I go to Bury Market once a month and stock the freezer with meat and fish.

'I like to plan meals for the week with my son. During lockdown I would walk to the local market every Saturday morning to buy something from at least one of the local stalls in order to support our local traders. I used to have an organic veg delivery but cancelled it as I found a lot of it going to waste. I much prefer giving things the squish test in person.'

Transportation costs: £150 a year road tax, £400 annual car insurance insurance, £60 a month fuel, £20 a month public transport

'I have a car for the school run and fill it once a month at Costco (which is 1p a litre cheaper than the supermarket with my membership). If I am going into Manchester I will usually take the tram but not much travel has happened over lockdown! If I can, I prefer to walk so if my son isn’t with me I’ll tend to walk into town to shop.'

Phone bill costs per month: £39 for home internet, Mobile phone approx £30 per month

'A portion of my internet bill is paid by my company as I work from home. And my phone bill is also covered by my company.'

Savings and pension: £22,000 savings, £40,000 pension

'The bulk of my savings is my redundancy payout from 2015. I’ve dipped in to over the years but it’s remained pretty stable. At the moment, rather than saving into my personal account, I’m squirrelling away as much as I can into the business savings account - that’s been my saving grace during lockdown as I’ve been able to top it up as my revenue went down. As I pay myself the bare minimum to live on I am not currently saving in my personal account.

'I recently consolidated a tiny pension with another workplace pension from my old employer. Again the bulk of the pot is from my former full time employment and I added £1,000 at the end of the last tax year from my company. My pension is an area I’m concerned about. I aim to start paying in at least £500 a month when business picks up. Then top it up before the end of the tax year to bring down the corporation tax. I’m also mulling dipping into the savings pot to make a further overpayment on the mortgage but as rates are so low I might be better off keeping it as liquid cash.'

Kids' clubs and activities: £45 per month for son, £105 per month for me

'Last September, I paid £170 for a year of Chinese lessons on Sunday afternoons for my son. However he’s not been since Chinese New Year in January 2020 so I’m expecting that to roll over to the next academic year.

'My one luxury is my very expensive gym/country club which is £105/month for me and £45/month for my son. However, I justify this to myself as when I took him out of after school I would take him to the gym for classes instead. £45/month pays for bootcamp, swimming, tennis, football, mini golf and a properly heated swimming pool! I can work in the cafe while he does a class, too. Obviously it’s been paused since lockdown and although they will reopen at the start of August, they’ve just extended the freeze on direct debits until September as a goodwill gesture.

'I cancelled my son’s swimming lessons when my ex stopped contributing as they were quite expensive and I didn’t feel he was making enough progress in a group lesson. Swimming really is a life skill so I’m keen to get him more confident in the water.

'My ex pays/paid for a weekly after school Spanish lesson (£6/class) and football (£6/class). Also on pause at the moment.

'I often tell my son that if I had £10 left in the world I would spend it on his education. I value activities that grow his brain and keep him healthy so I would sacrifice almost everything else to keep the gym membership and academic activities going. We’re in the catchment for one of the top schools in the country so I’m hoping he’ll a place and save me a potential fortune in school fees in the future. I’ll earn my Tiger mum stripes for sure!'

Other regular spends: £146.02 per month personal loan, £20 per week loan repayment to mother, £14 per month dental insurance, £1.70 per week on milk delivery, £30 every other week for a cleaner, £10 per month lottery (Girl’s gotta dream!)

'I bought a new car in February and I took out a small personal loan for £5000, my mum lent me a further £2000 and I’m paying it back at £20 a week.

'My Sky TV and internet bundle is offset by my company.  I have £300 worth of “'lexible benefits' from my company as an employee which are free of corporation or income tax so every couple of months I get myself a Netflix giftcard, spend £5.99 of it a month on a subscription and save up some allowance for a supermarket/Amazon giftcard around Christmas.'

My weekly money diary

Weekly budget: £200

Total spend: £186.42

Monday: £50 to buy back a cot bed for my cousin

'My cousin is having her first baby in September so I spent the weekend clearing out the attic of baby clothes, high chairs, travel cots and Moses basket to give to her.

'I asked my ex if I could give them my son’s old cot bed as he’s been complaining it’s too small for him. He wants £50 for it, even though it was a gift from his mother to us. It’s a great bed from John Lewis with plenty of life left in it, so I told him to take it off the money he owes me for our son’s summer camp (£73.50).'

Tuesday: £27.93 on a top-up shop, £2 text message cost for a radio competition

'Popped to Asda with my son as we needed bread, milk and fruit. I have a pint delivered twice a week from the Modern Milkman which is more than enough when it’s just me at home but requires a top up when M is with me all week. I make a list of other bits we need as well, including toothpaste, freezer bags and ibuprofen.

'As it’s school holidays, I had about half a dozen of the neighbouring kids in and out of my house yesterday so need to get more snacks for hungry kids. I try to stick to a list when I’m shopping but I’m sucker for the reduced section bargains and the M]middle of Lidl.  I pick up some eclairs, yoghurt and flatbreads from the reduced section and a bottle of white wine, since I shared one yesterday with my friend J who came round with his son A. We have plans for a picnic later in the week so I also get some bits for that.

'I check my online bank as my accountant has sent over my payslip. I set up a payment for my basic salary and dividend for Friday. While I’m doing my admin, I hear Jess Glynne play twice on Heart Radio so on a whim I text in for a chance to win £3000. I don’t win of course.

'It’s movie night tonight. I only have the basic Sky Entertainment package but I got a free download of Jumanji from Deliveroo via Sky VIP. I always keep an eye on the Sky VIP app for competitions and special offers. I make up some Minions-themed popcorn from Poundland that comes with novelty holders, mix in some Malteasers (also from Poundland) and snuggle up.”'

Wednesday: £0

'Log onto internet banking and realise I accidentally paid myself a dividend early so quickly transfer it into my savings accounts to avoid temptation to spend it and put a note in the diary to transfer it back on Friday.

'My back is really hurting at the moment - I don’t think the kitchen table is the best place to work for months on end. I do have an Amazon giftcard balance of £100 as a thank you from a client after a project a couple of months ago. She specified that I had to spend it entirely on myself and on “something frivolous” so I put a leg massager and back massager cushion into the basket and save it. The total is £114.98. I tend to wait 24 hours before any big purchases as the price often comes down. 

Thursday: £26.51 in Lidl, £12.99 in KFC

'Dropped M off at my parents for the day so they can work on his Chinese and some other homework and head out for a dentist and hygienist appointment. I go via Lidl and spend £26.51 on fresh juices and a few bottles of really nice wine in the clearance bin for £3.99 each. Optimistic these will last a month, realistically I’ll be back in a fortnight.

'On the way home, I get a low tyre pressure warning, my back wheel has a slow puncture and has needed replacing for months. I can’t put it off any longer as the MOT is due next month and it won’t pass with a dodgy tyre. Drop into ATS to order a tyre £138 including VAT and fitting and book it in for the last day of the month. Ouch! An expensive couple of weeks ahead!

'Finish work just after 5.30 and just can’t be bothered to cook. I invite mum to stay for dinner after she’s dropped back my son and decide to treat us to a KFC for a junk food fix. With the cut in VAT my family feast is a bargain £12.99 - thanks Dishy Rishi!'

Friday: £0 and a playdate in the park

'I pick up my son from my parents just before lunch and he’s brandishing a crisp ten pound note that my dad has presented him with. Both my ex and I think personal finance education is one of the most important things we can teach M, so every time he gets a windfall like this we talk about the three things you can do with money:  save it, spend it, invest it. I tell M we’ll split the note into 10 pound coins and he decides that he will put £3 in his money box (save), get 4 toys from the poundshop (spend) and give £3 to his godmother to put in his savings account and earn interest (invest). Hopefully good financial habits will stand him in good ground when he’s older.'

Saturday: £4 in charity shops, £4 on batteries, £11.84 on fresh produce from the market and £24.47 on the 'big shop.'

'Since lockdown, I’ve tried to go to the local market every weekend and pick up something from at least one vendor to help keep them going during this tough period. As I know M will be at his dad’s all week from lunchtime I can indulge in 'grown up' food. I pick up a fresh spicy almond chilli pesto from the Italian store (£3.50) to put into a prawn pasta and fresh spinach, pak choi, peas, courgette,carrots and cherry tomatoes. I also grab a punnet of strawberries and a couple of clementines (£8.34). I’ll do a “big shop” for bread, eggs etc at the supermarket later.

'I see some of the charity shops are open again so I pop in to see if they have any DVDs for M. I get a copy of Puss in Boots from the Salvation Army for £1 and two David Walliams books from Oxfam for £3. After a week of summer holidays pretty much every toy with batteries has been used up so I grab a giant pack of AA and AAA batteries at Poundland to juice everything up again.

'My ex arrives to collect M just after lunch and I go to Asda for the remaining groceries. I spend £24.47 which includes £9 for a new clothes drier. I spend the rest of the day on housework, download some free books on my Kindle and get an early night.'

Sunday: £20 car repayment, £2.68 at Home Bargains

'I drive to my mum’s and park the car there while I walk into town to get £20 out of the ATM as this week’s repayment for a £2,000 loan she gave me in February for my new car. It would be much easier if I could just set up a direct debit but she’s old school, so cash it is. I pop into Home Bargains to get some more bath bubbles for my son and grab a 29p of microwave popcorn to take to my friend’s house later for our “good wine, bad movies” night.

'The films and the footie are all they promised to be so I walk home a little unsteadily. I put the stock onto simmer and go through my schedule for the next week.

'This is a pretty average week in terms of spending, especially in lockdown when we’re limited in the activities we can do. I’m conscious of some big spends coming up though - a new tyre, the MOT, dental work and a tax bill. There’s always something!'

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