Improve your love-life
Parenting can take the emphasis off your relationship with your partner, but there are lots of ways to ensure a happy and healthy love-life - in between the mayhem!
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So what can you do to make your partner feel as important in your life today as he was when you first met?
Here are some top tips from Netmums on how to make your partner feel important:
1
I think it's important to try and remember why you fancied and fell in love with your husband in the beginning. It's so easy to forget all those lovely feelings when your looking after your kids, working and keeping on top of the housework etc. Make time to talk about when you met and how you felt about each other. I also think a night away together minus the kids really helps.
2
I have always placed a high importance on intimacy in a relationship, I feel this can make you stay strong as a couple and offer a bond between you both. Two of the biggest obstacles I feel we face as new parents is obviously tiredness and also trying to be spontaneous. You have to accept that things will change but you still have to try and find time for each other and to to make each other feel special.
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3
I think the focus of the relationship changes so much, it goes from being whatever makes you or your partner happy (sex included) to all about baby. I think you as individuals almost cease to exist or the reason for your existence becomes meeting babies needs ... it is difficult but sometimes you have to be selfish again and as long as baby is safe, warm, sleeping forget them for a while and think about what you and your partner need, usually sleep, but turn off the TV and do something more interesting instead.
4
Putting aside special time for the two of you when you know you are not going to be too tired. I think that sex is an important part of a relationship and is special between the two of you and spending a bit of time and effort on keeping that part of the relationship alive is incredibly important.
5
It seems slightly more exciting these days, trying to get in a " quickie" whilst the kids are playing in their bedroom/sleeping or out with grandparents ... naughty mummy and daddy!
6
It's much harder to find time together when you have kids, but ours are young, so we make time for each other once they go to bed! We always have massages, we talk about our fantasies, however wild, and my husband works abroad quite a bit so we spice it up with sexy texts! That tends to keep us going!
7
We are just starting to get our lives back on track after having kids. After 8 years we finally got away for one night recently and that hit home about how bad we've been at making time for ourselves. We've always worried about leaving the children and I've felt guilty about going away without them. Now I've had a taste of freedom I'm planning another night away soon and have realised how I need to spend time with my husband too and we need time away to build our relationship so we can give more back to the kids. It's not just about sex either - it's about being able to have time to talk, think, shop and rest...having a bit of fun together.
8
We find that it's more important than ever to have 'date nights' where we cook something special together and open a bottle of wine (and throw the laptops and TV out the window for the night!) or go out for a romantic meal. It's only then that we properly catch up with where each others' lives are at and make plans for the future; this brings us closer together.
9
Full sex isn't always an option when you have small children. Physical intimacy is important in a relationship. Take advantage of the opportunities that are given to you. 10 mins here and 15 mins there. It helps you to feel closer together, especially if you are having problems bringing up a child/children. You need to feel that you are together, not just friends sleeping in the same bed.
10
Keep talking about it - don't brush it under the carpet as if it doesn't matter. Be open and honest. Enjoy each other's company and laugh about things. Do things together as a couple - I found that this brings back the closeness we shared before becoming parents and priorities changed so much.
Share together, stay together
During our online relationships course we found that most couples do struggle with the same issues but yet some will split up over it while others will be able to get over it and stay together. This isn't just down to how individual couples cope with conflict but also about how a couple are together, how they feel about each other and how close they are.
Research has shown that the stronger happier couples are ones who talk together, share how they're feeling, enjoy time together and in general identify as part of a couple.
It might sometimes feel forced but don't let everything else in your life get in the way of you both being together. Make a date one night a week where you put your kids to bed early, get a babysitter for the evening and go out, or just got for a walk where your kids can run ahead and you can hold hands behind them. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you do something to make being together your very best habit.
If you are finding some of the glow has gone from your relationship, don't worry you can get it back, why not post in our Families and relationships forum for some advice and support.
Looking for more sexy inspo? Check out our articles or swap tips with other parents in our forum below.
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