How to tell your husband or partner you’re pregnant
Emily Gulla
WriterJust found out you're pregnant? Read on for creative ways to break the news to your husband or partner, as well as advice on how to tell them about an unplanned pregnancy.
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Telling your husband or partner that you're pregnant can be a nerve-racking experience, no matter how you're feeling about the situation.
If you've been trying for a while, you might feel excited to tell them and have probably thought about this moment over and over again! However, if you're anxious about telling them, you might be dreading saying those words out loud.
Read on for tips and advice for every situation, from creative pregnancy announcement ideas, to how to deal with an unplanned pregnancy.
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How to tell your husband or partner you're pregnant if you're worried about telling them
If you're not sure how you feel about your pregnancy, or you hadn't planned to become pregnant, then telling your husband, partner, or the baby's father about your pregnancy can feel really daunting.
How the conversation goes will depend upon your relationship, but it can help to prepare for what you'll say in your head beforehand.
First of all, it's a good idea to confirm that you're pregnant with a pregnancy test. You can even take two just to be sure
If you think you're pregnant because your period is late (or you have other early pregnancy symptoms), then it's worth confirming your pregnancy with a test, just in case it's a false alarm. You ideally don't want to end up putting yourself through a difficult conversation to then find out that you're not pregnant after all.
However, if you think you might be pregnant but are waiting on taking a pregnancy test, you might still prefer to tell your partner so that they can be there to support you.
Follow the below tips for advice on what to say and how to say it...
Think about what you want to do first
Before you tell your partner, you might prefer to have an idea in your own head of what you'd like to do going forward. For example, you might already know that you want to have an abortion, or you might know that you'd like to continue with the pregnancy. Alternatively, you might not be sure yet – but it may be useful to have an idea of your own thoughts and feelings before telling your partner. That way, you'll be in a better position to discuss your next steps with them.
However, some people may prefer to tell their partner first, and then work out their thoughts and feelings together with them. It's totally up to you, and you should go with what you're comfortable with.
If you're pregnant and you don't want to be, you can find more advice on what to do about your pregnancy here.
Choose the right place to tell them
Of course, it's not ideal to tell your partner about your pregnancy in a busy, public place – particularly if you're worried about telling them. Choose a private setting to tell them, like your house or theirs, and try to do it when there are no other distractions around.
This is probably a conversation you'll want to have face to face, so arranging a private place to talk is ideal. However, some people may prefer to break the news over text or a call and then talk about it in person later (and if your partner lives far away this may be your only choice) – so do what feels right for you.
What to say
You're probably already going over the conversation in your head again and again, but the best thing to do with news like this is to just tell them – plain and simple.
It'll be helpful for the both of you if you try to get straight to the point. You can start by saying "I've got something to tell you," and then explain, "I've done a test and I've found out I'm pregnant".
Leave space for their reaction
Once you've said what you want to say, leave space for your partner to respond. They may be surprised or need time to process their emotions, but the best thing is to have a two-way conversation about the situation and how you both feel.
However, ultimately, whatever you decide to do with your own body and whether you'll continue with the pregnancy will be totally up to you.
Have somewhere to go if you need space afterwards
If you live with your partner, you might find it helpful to know that you can go somewhere after telling them, in case either of you needs a little bit of space. You can have a friend on hand to pick you up, or you can check that they're home so you can go to their house afterwards if needed.
Get support if you need it
You know your relationship best. There's a good chance that your partner will be supportive and will help you through whatever you want to do next. However, if you're worried about your safety or think that your partner will react aggressively or violently, then try not to put yourself in an unsafe situation.
You might prefer to speak to a different person you trust first, or to have somebody with you when you tell your partner. You can find advice on where to get help if you think you're in an abusive relationship here.
If you're a teenager, you can find organisations providing teen pregnancy support via the NHS here.
How to tell your husband or partner you're pregnant if you're excited to tell them
If you're looking forward to telling your partner you're pregnant, then planning your big announcement can be really exciting!
Take a look at some of our ideas below, whether you're after an elaborate surprise or just a simple gesture.
Just tell them!
If you don't feel like doing a big, fancy announcement, the simplest way to break the news to your partner is to just tell them! Maybe you took the test while they were in the house, and can run downstairs and scream "I'm pregnant!". Otherwise, if they're out at work, you can greet them with the news when they get home.
Do the test together
Of course, one way of doing things that won't require telling your partner at all is to do the pregnancy test with them. You can sit and wait for the result to come through together (which will probably feel like a lifetime!) and then you'll both know the outcome at the same time.
Wrap up your pregnancy test
If you do your pregnancy test alone, a nice way to break the news to your partner is to wrap the positive test up in a nice box and give it to them as a gift. You could make it obvious by saying "I've got a present for you", or you could do something more subtle, like disguising the test in a boring cardboard box and pretending it's a parcel that arrived.
Make a scavenger hunt
Similarly, if you don't want to just present your partner with your positive pregnancy test, you could send them on a scavenger hunt to find it! Leave clues around the house, with the pregnancy test at the end. You could also have the final clue land on a card or a poem revealing your pregnancy.
Slip some baby items into the shopping (or leave them lying around the house)
Secretly pick up some baby items, like nappies or a baby grow, when you do your shopping, then ask your partner to help unpack the bags when you get home. They'll ask who the baby products are for, and you can tell them they're for your baby! Cue tears in the kitchen.
Just make sure to do it this way around so that you don't end up breaking the news in the middle of the supermarket (if they're with you)! Otherwise, this works well for an online shop order too.
Similarly, you can leave some baby products around the house, so that your partner will find them and ask the same question.
Surprise your partner with a gift
Buy your partner a present that not-so-subtly reveals a baby is on the way. Something like a small book on 'how to be a parent' will work well. You can wrap it up and watch the realisation hit them as they open it!
Make a personalised baby grow
Similarly, you could have a baby grow made with a personalised message on it like "Baby [insert surname here]... Coming 2022" or "Hello Daddy, I can't wait to meet you" – or simply "Best Dad Ever!". Choose whichever words feel right for you! It'll be a sweet gift for your partner to open, and a huge surprise once they realise what it means! Plus, it's a nice keepsake for you both to treasure.
Personalised trinkets like an engraved keyring will also work well.
Of course, ordering a gift like this means you'll have to keep the secret to yourself for a few days – so it's up to you whether you want to wait that long!
Cook a baby-themed dinner, or have a baby-themed movie night
OK, this one's pretty elaborate, but it'll be fun to pull together. Prepare a baby-themed dinner for your partner full of baby-named foods, like baby spinach, baby tomatoes, baby potatoes, baby back ribs, and even Babybel cheese. You can even create a menu for them if you really want to emphasise the point. See if they pick up on all the "baby" foods, and if not, ask them to guess the theme of your evening. Watch as the realisation hits their face!
Similarly, you can do this with a baby-themed movie night. Think Baby Driver, Dirty Dancing (with Baby as the main character), Bridget Jones' Baby, and the classic Bringing Up Baby. Or why not go all in with Knocked Up? Again, ask them to guess the theme.
A music playlist will also work well. Try Always Be My Baby by Mariah Carey, Britney's Baby One More Time, or even Baby by Justin Bieber.
When to tell your friends and family you're pregnant
Once you've told your partner you're expecting, the two of you might prefer to leave it for a while before you let other family members or friends know.
Some people choose not to tell anyone about their pregnancy until after their 12-week dating scan. From about 12 weeks, the risk of miscarriage is greatly reduced, so many parents-to-be find this to be a good time to announce their news.
However, you might prefer to tell close family members and friends sooner than that.
Find out how to tell your parents that you're pregnant here, and check out our ideas for creative pregnancy announcements here. Making the announcement is exciting, so have fun with it!
What to Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff is a must-read for all expectant parents. Packed full of advice, it has over 15,000 positive reviews on Amazon! See more details here.
A full body pregnancy pillow will keep you comfy at home; during sleeping and relaxing and it can be used to support you during breastfeeding when your baby arrives. See Dunelm's wide variety of pregnancy pillows here.
Looking for more information on what to expect during pregnancy? Read our articles below or share advice with others in the forum.
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