Want to separate, what are my rights if any?

Firstly, I would advise you to get some professional legal advice. I'm not a lawyer, just someone with a basic knowledge of the legal system in England and Wales.

When it comes to the house, a lot depends on whether you are joint tenants or tenants in common. When you took the mortgage out, or were added to it, you would have had to choose to be one or the other.

If you are joint tenants, you both own the whole property, and have equal rights to it in the case of a divorce or separation, regardless of how much you have actually paid in. In this case your options would be to sell and split the proceeds, or for one of you to buy the other one out. If you can't agree, you'd need to go to court.

However, if this was to go to court, your partner could argue that as he had contributed more, a 50/50 split would be unfair. You'd be able to argue against this, of course, on the grounds that your contributions to the household (childcare, housework, etc) enable your partner to work, and are of equal value to the money he brings in.

As a joint tenant you could also apply for an order to force teh sale of the house against your partner's wishes.

If you are tenants in common, each of you will own a specified proportion of the house, and will only have rights to that amount. Again, the amount could be disputed in court.

You might be able to apply for a Mesher order allowing you to stay in the property until certain conditions are met (such as your youngest child turning 18, or if you began to cohabit with someone, for example), after which the property would be sold. Again, your partner could oppose this.

As well as sorting out the property, I would advise you to get a Child Arrangements Order in place, especially if your partner has Parental Responsibility under the law. Again, seek proper legal advice.

Hope that helps.

We are joint tenants. It's really frustrating because I know he will make this difficult as he has no intention to leave or to sell. I dont want to sell either as I love this house, but if that's the only way then I'm willing to do it.

My father actually gifted us the deposit to buy the house in the first place, so if it wasn't for him we wouldn't live here in the fist place!

As he pay's all the bills, he thinks that gives him priority over me and that he should be the one to stay. Told him it doesn't work like that, and that I contribute in other ways in order for him to work full time like you said. He seems to forget that I care for our son, cook, clean, buy our son his clothes, run the car we share, and actually contribute a hell of a lot Despite still working three days a week and often feeling exhausted all the time because he does the bare minimum around the house.

I've even suggested taking a break, for a few weeks and have asked him to go to his relatives. It makes sense as he couldn't look after our son when he's in work 5 days a week. He has again refused to do this.

I will look to seek legal advice on this, thanks for you advice

I am currently going through a separation, after 10 years of marriage and a 5 year old daughter.

I completely understand your concerns/worries etc. You can get an hours free advice from a solicitor either by making an appointment for a face to face consultation or over the phone.

Just get a list of key questions you want to ask.

We have a mortgage, which I put the deposit down for & I have also paid for most of the work done to the property. My estranged husband has agreed on a settlement out of the house, as it’s near our daughters school and friends.

Emotions run high and it’s gaining an agreement with your partner over parenting & obviously property. Speaking to a solicitor will help you with this.

Its terribly hard now but in the long run, it does get easier. I’m now 8 months in, still working on Co-parenting but our daughter is much happier. She can see that her Mum is more relaxed and happy, less stressed and snappy.

Take each day as it comes and try to rise above, any negative comments that may come your way. I’ve had quite a few.

taje care. X

Thanks for your reply and sorry your going through this too.

I did contact two solicitors but they both charged a fee by the hour and it wasn't cheap! I will continue to look around for others that may offer free advice as it's just advice I want at this stage, before I make any decisions. I'm really torn on what to do, a part of me just wishes he would change and then we would be ok. He's not a bad man but I just feel more like a house mate (often minus the mate part) to him than a partner, and its been this way for a long time now. We have had talks and things change for a few weeks but then it always reverts back. I am a lot more irritable and stressed around him and don't like feeling this way. It's just getting me down.

We've never had a break and I am really considering going to my mums for a few days just to have that break and get my head together. I told him I was planning on doing this and just got the 'don't be silly' response. He doesn't seem to take any of this seriously at all.

Maybe if you both take some time away from

each other. It will help you both make a decision.

it really hard, especially when there are children involved. The overwhelming sense of guilt too.

I know the rules are slightly different if gig are not married. Sorry, if I am confusing things. Have you considered speaking to a counsellor? Together or on your own?

There is free advice out there from

’Relate’. Sometimes though, if you take time away, that can help the situation? I completely understand how you are feeling. You want to feel happy and less stressed.

My husband was the same & at times, much much worse. Does your Mum/family live nearby?

Its not easy separating and we are still working through our’s. My estranged husband has not accepted it’s over.

If solicitors are charging, look into mediation (if you do decide that separation is your only option).

Stay strong, take some time out too. X