Was I wrong to leave them??
29 answers /
Last post: 05/05/2022 at 9:11 pm
Recently I went on a day trip for my friend's 40th. It was a coach trip so I was gone about 12hours, getting home by 9pm.
Its the longest I have left my children at home. Before this I'd nip shopping or maybe out for lunch leaving the eldest in charge.
They are 17, 14, 11 and 10.
Everything went fine. I left them with rules, snacks, food that required little or no cooking. It was a success.
Today a neighbour came round shouting at my daughter (10yr old) for squirting her child with a water pistol. She made my daughter cry. I asked her in future to ask to speak to me rather than shouting at a child. Her reply was "I would if you were ever here!"
She was referring to the day I left them together. She had come round that day too to say my dog was "close to death" from being too thin (he is an ideal weight according to the vet.) She said they are too young to be left and I was out of order to do so.
Now it's got me questioning my decision! Was I wrong??
These coach trips happen 3 times a year and my children are all more than happy for me to go again but now I'm second guessing if I should?? I trust my son, I was a mum at 17! They are all sensible and capable children.
Should I ignore her and do what feels right? Or should I not go again?? I don't get to do much other than "be mum" and I'd love to get out more and make friends but how when I can't go anywhere?? 😪
Ignore her. Your children were not in danger, and as you left them in the care of a 17 year old relative it would be very difficult for a court or social services to say that you were neglectful.
Carry on as you were.
I would of had 10,11 Yr old left with an adult . Is 17 Yr responsible was the 17 Yr old there all day. But I'd have an adult family member a nanna etc to come round they are all under 18 and 10,11yo need watchinga bit more . As for the neighbour if your always their why did she say you wasn't. And complain your dog thin it must look it. But my 11yo wouldn't like be left with another child I'd send 10,11yo to a nanna or auntie next time x
If you trust your 17 year old to be in charge in an emergency then all is well.
They are old enough: it's up to you to decide if they are responsible enough.
I do 'what if' scenarios with my kids if I leave them alone.
Your neighbour sounds awful.
Wow! Your neighbour does not sound very pleasant!!
If you’re happy that your eldest children are responsible enough to look after the younger ones, that’s your business and none of hers! I’d take no notice if anything she has to say!!
There is currently no minimum age at which you can legally leave your children at home. It's your decision as their parent as to whether you feel they are mature enough and if they would know what to do in an emergency situation. As their mother you know your children better than anyone on here.
If the vet says your dog is fine then it is. Maybe get some written evidence from the vet just in case as your neighbour doesn't sound like a very nice person at all.
Wow can't believe that ,we were left at home when we were young kids. I go to school and go back with no one home from senior school with no one home. If she comes back I'd say it is none of her business and don't need to justify to some stranger. If she'd like to call social services and rspca then go do so as there are no concerns. Some people need to find other things to do.
When I was 16 I used to baby sit a 12 year old, 7 year old and 4 year old who were my parents friends kids.
Your 17 year old is more than capable.
You know your children not other people. Tell them to but out!
Hi. I’m currently doing an early years degree and the nspcc advises that children shouldn’t be left with anyone under the age of 16. So you’ve done nothing wrong
Hi. I’m currently doing an early years degree and the nspcc advises that children shouldn’t be left with anyone under the age of 16. So you’ve done nothing wrong
But I’ll add if you leave children under 16 alone, which you can also do as there’s no law as such, if anything happens to them without someone over 16 being there then you can be done for neglect
Your not wrong for leaving them if you feel your older children are capable of keeping an eye on the younger ones and know emergency contact number ect. At 17 there basically an adult.
please don't feel bad and question yourself your children are more than old enough to watch and look after the younger one and each other .
you keep being you and ignore your nosy opinionated neighbour .
have some you time !
I don't see an issue... as long as you trust your 17 year old is responsible. They are all more than capable of calling you or calling anyone in an emergency. You know your kids and you sound like a great Mum so trust your decision here. Xx
no you’re not wrong, they’re fine. She sounds like a mentalist. You left them with a responsible adult. You can babysit from 13/14 I think. So you have 2 children capable of look after younger siblings. You have a healthy dog, and a delusional neighbour. Apologise for the squirting of the child but she needs to apologise for making your kids cry. Keep doing what you’re doing - she is being nosey.
There is currently no minimum age at which you can legally leave your children at home. It's your decision as their parent as to whether you feel they are mature enough and if they would know what to do in an emergency situation. As their mother you know your children better than anyone on here.
If the vet says your dog is fine then it is. Maybe get some written evidence from the vet just in case as your neighbour doesn't sound like a very nice person at all.
Why would you need to get something written down the neighbour needs to mind her own business,keep her nose out,all children have different capabilities she knows her kids,she needs to carry on doing what works for her