Rewards at school and favouritism?

I really feel you on this. I have 3 kids in primary. My eldest who is in year 6 has never really been rewarded despite 100% effort. Same as my other 2. Its always the same children in the school photos, school plays. I know people will disagree but favouritism in schools happens far and wide. Despite approaching my kids school about this and my kids talking to their teachers about it, nothing changes. I know its impossible, but try not to take it to heart. Remind your daughter how amazing she is and hopefully the school may reward her one day

Agree with previous, they don't usually merit high scoring and bright, but actual effort. It is a well known fact that rewarding scores leads to a bad learning attitude.

My son is super clever (8) and is always complaining about this, but I totally agree with the school policy. He knows what areas he is supposed to put effort in, and doesn't because it is an effort!

Also, they sometimes reward behaviour things like being nice to people esp for kids that find that hard.

But ask the school. Usually they make sure every child gets one go at these things at least

I’m a teacher and our school policy on weekly head teacher’s awards is we keep a note so that each child gets one and then we go through the list again - to ensure it is fair .

The reason varies - effort , fantastic work , resilience , kindness etc .

The class bear is the same - house points more spontaneous (I mean no record kept to ensure fairness )

It’s a shame , however it’s part of learning quite young that life isn’t always fair . All you can do as a parent is encourage / reward her and instill intrinsic motivation in her .

I noticed when my kids were in primary, it was always kids whose parent were on PTA that got the main parts in plays.

I would ask to talk to her teacher about how she is getting on - tell them its not gone unnoticed and you feel it is affecting her confidence. Ask if there are any issues and have they have any suggestions as to how you can help guide her. Tell her how proud you are of her and how proud she should be of herself too. Tell her about the parents who have spoken to you about how kind she has been, that will be nice for her to hear. x

There could be all sorts going on in the background for this to be the case.

Anything from those kids need the positive feedback to push themselves or to even feel anything due to home problems, maybe your kid can do 4578-802*4=... Maybe shes not progressed from starting school... But little Jimmy has finally smashed 1+4=5 AND 2+3=5 AND 3+2=5 AND 4+1=5...Something little jimmy just couldn't get his head around for months and finally twigged.

Teaching isn't about finding the 'wonderful smart clever bilingual child' and bigging them up, its helping and teaching all children to excel. If. Your child isn't pushing herself or trying she won't get rewarded.

Hello!

As both a parent and someone who works in a school it can be very difficult to gauge what’s happening behind closed doors at school, even more so now with covid.

I would be inclined to agree with the other posters who said that awards aren’t always given on high scores/academic achievement but often for effort, enthusiasm, kindness, progress made; a whole range of factors. That, and teachers are literally making their way through the class and everyone at some point will get their chance at a prize. I absolutely wouldn’t take it personally on your daughters behalf and its such a valuable lesson to learn. I’m sure every parent in your daughters class feels similarly about their child but I would think the teacher has an excellent handle on everything.

Thank you. She is quite confident and bubbly little girl. She is also quite strong willed.

What I forgot to mention above is that she is scared of one of her teachers.

They are having this traffic light system green -good behaviour, orange - not so good, red terrible. She is constantly saying I don't want to talk too much or ask questions because I am scared they will put me on orange or red.

I hope she stays strong willed it will stand to her later! Reception is such a steep learning curve, for everyone!

I am a bit surprised to hear about the traffic light system though, although my sons school uses the same system it isn’t introduced until their third year. They need those couple of years to learn about boundaries and cementing the fact that actions have consequences but I’m so sorry she’s afraid to ask questions or talk!

I agreed until your final sentence.... this child is in reception, a little harsh to expect her to "push herself".

Perhaps the wrong choice of words, hut children at alevery single age should be seen to be trying to progress and learn and improve. I probably sound like an awful pushy mother now

No I understand what you're saying, and would expect that of a slightly older child. I don't think a 4/5 year old doesn't understand what it means to push themselves, they are just figuring things out and finding their feet in school.

Hi, I completely agree the treatment your daughter is receiving is unfair and can't grow tired of saying that awards/rewards are a ridiculous and harming practice. I wonder why and where is this approach to education in school coming from. How is this scientifically substantiated as a "good" practice...I could go on and on about the reasons why it does not make sense, I do not even think it exists in any other country.

I do believe though that favouritism will still be a common practice by teachers in schools but at least it should not be embedded as a public school policy!

I ended up choosing an indie school where there is a no awards/rewards super hero of the day/week/month/year and my daughter is now super confident. She knows her weaknesses, she works hard to improve, she knows there are other children that are better at certain subjects and abilities but in no way is competitive and consequently frustrated about it ... as these are the only two things you get as a result from a "praise and reward deserving children" approach (to note all children are deserving and there are millions of ways to encourage them but clearly teachers do not want to work harder) .