Coping with twins or more: top tips to help
Caring for one newborn baby is quite challenging enough, but how do you manage if you're a mum to more than one? These expert tips should make managing with twins, triplets or more that little bit easier – we hope!
This page contains affiliate links, which means we may earn a small amount of money if a reader clicks through and makes a purchase. All our articles and reviews are written independently by the Netmums editorial team.
There's no doubt about it, coping with more than one newborn baby at a time is hard work!
But that's where Sandra Bosman, specialist midwife for multiple pregnancies at the Royal Victoria Infirmary in Newcastle, and founder of the multiples charity More Than One can help.
Here are her expert tips for coping with twins – and more ...
FREE NEWBORN NAPPIES
1. Get into a routine as soon as possible
This will encourage your babies' body rhythms into similar patterns.
Aim to put both or all babies down to sleep and for naps at the same time, and follow the usual rules for a bedtime routine if you can - ideally, you'll have some help if you're trying to settle more than one baby for the night.
At the very least, a good bedtime routine will allow you to get a few useful chores done in the evening - it will be quicker than during the day when you're trying to attend to your babies at the same time,' says Sandra Bosman.
'And more importantly, it will give you a few hours in the evening to relax with your partner. You'll both need it.'
2. Get as much help as you can
If friends and relatives offer their services, don't be afraid to exploit it. Be specific about what you want them to do.
3. Sign up to local groups
Join a national and/or local multiples organisation.
As well as being a really useful source of advice and information, it will be a valuable social link.
Mums of multiples are almost twice as likely to suffer from postnatal depression as mums of 'singletons', according to recent research by Twins Trust.
But the same research also showed that mums who had plenty of help and support, or were members of a support group, were less likely to be affected that those who didn't. There's lots more information about PND and how to cope with it here
4. Write things down
Keep a written list of when your babies have been fed or changed in the early weeks, to help you keep tabs on where you are.
5. Get dressed
Put yourself in a positive frame of mind by getting dressed and ready for the day as soon as possible in the morning. 'With multiples, it's all too easy to find yourself in your pyjamas by lunchtime,' says Sandra.
6. Take your time
Bear in mind that it will probably take you twice as long (three times as long if you've got triplets) to do anything as it takes 'singleton' mums. Plan accordingly - and take life at a snail's pace as much as you can.
7. Don't beat yourself up about breastfeeding
It is possible to breastfeed twin babies at the same time but you're likely need even more advice and support than the average breastfeeding mum. There's lots more information here www.twinsuk.co.uk.
Don't beat yourself up, though, if you find breastfeeding a challenge too far though - your babies will do perfectly well on formula, or a mix of both if that seems to work well for you.
Many mums of multiples say it's easier to always feed your babies at the same time - including at night (even if that means waking one up). If you have triplets, you're unlikely to manage exclusive feeding, although you may still find a mix of some breast, some formula, is do-able.
8. Keep them close
Put your multiples in the same cot when they're tiny. It's soothing for them as it helps to emulate conditions in the womb they shared, and it means they're more likely to wake simultaneously for nighttime feeds.
9. Double up on essentials
Make sure you have a bouncy chair for each of your babies. That way, if you have your hands full with one of them, there'll always be somewhere safe and comfy for the other to wait.
When they're a bit older, you can bottle feed both at the same time by sitting in between the two chairs.
10. Bathtime can wait
Bathtime can be a challenge with multiples, especially before they're old enough to sit up with the help of a bath support.
Stick to topping and tailing for as long as possible and try to only do bathtime when you know you've got help. Otherwise, bath your babies one at a time, keeping the other close by in a bouncy chair.
11. Take shortcuts wherever possible
Make the rest of life as easy as possible for yourself: do the weekly shop on the Internet; go for nutritious snacks rather than cooking meals; aim for the bare minimum of housework.
'Never be afraid to take the easy option. Take one day at a time and don't try to do too much,' says Sandra.
'If you can achieve one thing, such as a bit of ironing, a load of washing, or getting one room vacuumed, then you'll have done well.'
12. Get out of the house
Get out of the house with your babies at least once a day. It will blow away a few cobwebs and help break up the time, as well as being a good way to encourage them towards similar nap times.
13. Find one-on-one time
Try to spend a little one-on-one time with each of your babies when you can.
'Allowing one to be looked after a grandparent sometimes will give you - and them - the opportunity to bond with one baby at a time,' says Sandra.
14. Get ready for the attention
Prepare yourself for lots of stares - and the odd daft question.
People are fascinated by twins or more and although it's nice to be special, it can sometimes grate!
'If you get fed up with being the object of other people's attention when you're out, just avoid eye contact,' advises Sandra.
'When possible, enlist someone's help and take your babies out in separate single buggies - it attracts less attention.'
15. Be savvy
Having twins or more means your costs are going to be higher.
Unfortunately there are no extra benefits available to help parents of multiples cope with their increased costs. Be canny about seeking out cheap or free equipment and clothing, and borrowing whatever you can.
And do make sure you're getting everything you're entitled to such as child benefit, which everyone can claim, and - depending on your income, child tax credits and the Sure Start maternity grant.
16. Remember, it will get easier
inally, bear in mind that although twins or more can be incredibly hard work at first, it will get easier.
As they grow up, you'll reap the rewards because they will always have each other for company, and that's going to make life easier for you.
'Have a positive mental attitude,' says Sandra.
'Laugh about things, otherwise you might end up crying. And remember: your babies are a blessing!'
17. Help is at hand
You can ALWAYS chat to other mums with twins or more in our chat forum. From swapping tips to supporting each other, it's a great way to get through difficult days!
And there's always these expert organisations, too:
Twins Trust - twinstrust.org
The Multiple Births Foundation - www.multiplebirths.org.uk
Twins UK - www.twinsclub.co.uk
Related stories
Top tips for.coping with no sleep
CHAT: 7 week-old twins cry unless being held
100 things a new mum needs to know
Need advice?
Our health visitors and nursery nurses are on line Monday to Friday evenings to answer your queries on feeding, sleep and child health.
Helpful organisations
Twins Trust - twinstrust.org
The Multiple Births Foundation - www.multiplebirths.org.uk
Twins UK - www.twinsclub.co.uk
