Sex and marriage

10 answers /

Last post: 06/06/2022 at 11:32 pm

E.K.
E.K.
21/05/2022 at 10:18 pm

My husband and I have been married for 16 years and we have 4 kids together. For the past 8years we have not had sex and I personally don't feel like that towards him atm. I love him with everything I have and we are strong as a couple BUT missing intimacy . Anyone in the same boat as me?

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LYNDSEY T(74)
Lyndsey T(74)
21/05/2022 at 10:40 pm

yes , my hubby just looks but does not touch me any more, i do all i can to arouse him but with no effect

1
WINNIE J(2)
Winnie J(2)
26/05/2022 at 1:16 pm

Sorry to hear you're going through this,sending you hugs. I think there is a deeper issue at play and I would highly highly recommend couples counselling to get to the root. Often times when this happens there is an emotional connection that is lost in one party or both,stress, life pressure, unresolved conflict that has been buried deep. However a trained counsellor will help to unravel this.

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JACQUELINE C(273)
Jacqueline C(273)
29/05/2022 at 6:55 pm

Hi hubby and I are in same boat ,things started going down hill 17 yrs ago then he was diagnosed with scleraderma 7 yrs ago which is a (auto immune disease ) he's definitely not the same man I met 22 yrs ago .

1
CLAIRE R(1688)
Claire R(1688)
29/05/2022 at 9:07 pm

Yes the same here. Married 19 years, and the last time we had intimacy was when my second born was conceived nearly 9 years ago.


He says it’s him not me. But I know he’s looked elsewhere and provided pictures of himself aroused on sites. I bought him and is ‘toys’ but that didn’t make any difference.


I feel lonely, I feel sad that he clearly doesn’t see me like that anymore, and I feel like I’ll never know what it’s like to feel loved again.


So sad it’s come to this.

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SUSAN C(879)
Susan C(879)
29/05/2022 at 11:20 pm

Yes been 3 years now we not done it it makes me feel so rejected I used bring it up all time as it was only once every few months but I stopped bringing it up as he got annoyed and its now been 3 years it bothers me every day . Life's to short I wwnt someone who wants me in every way I don't think ill stay for longer and we have 3 kids I can't see ever having that connection again x

2

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E.K.
E.K.
30/05/2022 at 10:02 am
In answer to
Lyndsey T(74)

yes , my hubby just looks but does not touch me any more, i do all i can to arouse him but with no effect

It was hard for me to post this and thought I was alone. I feel your pain girl friend

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E.K.
E.K.
30/05/2022 at 10:04 am
In answer to
Claire R(1688)

Yes the same here. Married 19 years, and the last time we had intimacy was when my second born was conceived nearly 9 years ago.


He says it’s him not me. But I know he’s looked elsewhere and provided pictures of himself aroused on sites. I bought him and is ‘toys’ but that didn’t make any difference.


I feel lonely, I feel sad that he clearly doesn’t see me like that anymore, and I feel like I’ll never know what it’s like to feel loved again.


So sad it’s come to this.

Same too. I have tried looking outside but I think someone will break my heart

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E.K.
E.K.
30/05/2022 at 10:06 am
In answer to
Susan C(879)

Yes been 3 years now we not done it it makes me feel so rejected I used bring it up all time as it was only once every few months but I stopped bringing it up as he got annoyed and its now been 3 years it bothers me every day . Life's to short I wwnt someone who wants me in every way I don't think ill stay for longer and we have 3 kids I can't see ever having that connection again x

Susan I feel the same but I care for him so much

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GERI P(3)
geri p(3)
06/06/2022 at 11:32 pm

Hi

As a previous poster mentioned…have you tried couples therapy or sex therapy? Getting to the root cause?

Ofcourse we all go through cold phases in long term relationships especially when you have kids. The problem is the less you do it, the less you want it. Also as women lets face it it makes you a bit nervous to have sex when its been a while 😂

Maybe try a date night? Some massage? Or dress up a bit? Role play? Get that spark back.

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