From being called 'geriatric' to ignoring the cliches about being 'too tired' to play with your kids, Cari Rosen, author of Secret Diary of a New Mum (Aged 43 1/4) shares her thoughts on becoming a mum in your 40s.

1. Terms for older mums are … charming!

I got called a ‘geriatric’ mother and an ‘elderly primigravida’ at my first antenatal appointment. Way to make a girl feel good.

2. EVERYONE has an opinion

I got so bored of reading that anyone who dares to give birth at 40+ is ‘a selfish workaholic’. Or indeed a ‘career-crazed power freak’ – a phrase that particularly charmed me on one radio phone-in. Or ‘a minger who can’t get a husband’ – overheard in a local park.

There are many and varied reasons why women have babies later. My research shows that work is actually way, way down the list.

C&G baby club’s Love Don’t Judge campaign is a gentle reminder that parents need support, not judgement. They're encouraging mums and dads to empower each other and follow their instincts when it comes to parenting.

3. Most of your friends are past the Peppa Pig stage

Many of my friends had kids long before me. I sat through umpteen conversations about nappies, nipple shields and Ofsted reports when all I wanted to talk about was books, films and nights out.

Then when I wanted to talk about nappies, nipple shields and Ofsted reports, my friends had put all that long behind them and just wanted to discuss the books I no longer had time to read, the films I no longer got to see and the nights out that felt like a distant memory.

4. You learn to ignore the cliches like, 'older mums get tired more easily'

Come on, we're talking 40-something not 80-something. Bottom line is, whatever your age, if your baby sleeps you’ll be fine and if it doesn’t you'll be on your knees with exhaustion.

5. ‘You won’t be able to play football with them’

Says who? I had very little athletic prowess as a youngster and that was never going to magically change overnight (though I did recently do a power-walking marathon so never say never). But there are penalty shoot-outs aplenty in our garden.

6. It's NOT selfish

Yes, of course I might get hit by a bus tomorrow but that isn’t going to be because the driver of the no 27 has a thing about women giving birth over 40.

We can only do our best to stay fit and healthy – whatever our age. I have tragically lost friends in their 30s or even younger. Were they ‘selfish’ for leaving small children behind? Hardly.

7. Perimenopause meets puberty is not for the faint-hearted

But it should be stressed that this is not the sole province of 40-something mums. Plenty of friends who have had babies earlier have found themselves in the same place, with teens/tweens who are little rays of sunshine one moment and contenders for the world record in door slamming the next. But ‘twas ever thus – even before you factor in the hot flushes.

The Secret Diary of a New Mum (Aged 43 1/4) by Cari Rosen is published by Duckworth and is available here at Amazon.

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