28 sure-fire signs you're in your third trimester
Ah - the last stretch ... the final countdown ... the home run. Chances are you feel HUGE and more than a little impatient. Peeing is your main hobby and you haven't seen your feet in weeks. Sound familiar? How about the rest of these ...
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1
Your belly is waaaaaaay, waaaaaay bigger than your boobs.
2
It's a team effort to put on your socks each morning.
3
Everywhere you go the first thing you do is locate the nearest toilet so you know how to get there super fast.
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4
You can't remember when you last saw your feet.
5
You buy a bra the size of a small hammock (in beige with ginormo straps).
6
You consider writing to someone to suggest that hoisting yourself out of bed to go for a pee should ba an Olympic sport - so long does it take you to master said movement.
7
You wonder how your fingers became so fat that your rings don't fit (and also wonder if you'll simply have to have them cut off if your sausage fingers don't go down after birth).
8
You understand what everyone was talking about when they went on about cankles.
9
If another person asks 'Haven't you had the baby yet?' you have to take a deep breath to avoid punching them in the nose.
10
Even if it's minus degrees outside you always feel as hot as a furnace.
11
You have so many spidery veins on your legs that you look like the map of the London Underground.
12
Your back aches like an old woman and you find yourself saying 'oof' as you get out of a chair.
13
You pee a bit when you sneeze - or laugh - or cough - or just whenever!
14
You suddenly have feet like a hobbit - like giant plates! And you take every chance you get to take your shoes off as they are so damn hot. Why did no one warn you about the hot feet thing?!
15
You no longer walk; you waddle.
16
Every second day you are convinced you're in labour then ten minutes later you realise it was just Braxton Hicks.
17
You have some pretty crazy dreams - imagining your baby will burst out of you like that scene in Alien or that you had your baby three weeks ago but left her on the conveyor belt in Tescos.
18
You begin to understand what it must have been like to be a Weeble.
19
Your main hobby is peeing. All through the day and night.
20
You begin to wonder if you'll EVER get comfy in bed again. EVER!
21
You wish you could wear a t-shirt that says, 'No - I HAVEN'T had the baby yet. YES I'm sure it's not twins and ha ha haaa...yes I WILL make the most of all the sleep I can get before the baby comes (now please sod off)'.
22
You have to send your hubby to the chemist to buy piles cream and feel MAJORLY embarrasssed that you have them as before now you thought only old men got them.
23
You fart when you walk.
24
You can't sleep because it feels like a footie team are using your insides as a training ground.
25
You get some pretty funky and weird discharge in your knickers. Nice!
26
You're all bunged up and wish you could do a giant poo and feel all normal again.
27
You wake up in the night suddenly panicking about how far the hospital is (even if it is a four minute drive away).
28
Every other month in your life was 28-31 days long but the last month of your pregnancy goes on for about 1376 days. And counting.
