16 new baby mistakes we all make
You’ve read the parenting books and done the NCT classes, so you’re all set to be an expert parent right from day one, right? Errr – no.
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Having a baby is a baptism of fire, and even the most well prepared of us spend our first weeks (or months, or years …) of parenthood making rookie errors. We bet you’ve done most of these at one stage or another, but hey, at least you’ll know better when you have your second child, right?
1 Misjudging your cradle hold
One minute you’re walking around the house with your baby cradled in your arms; the next – clunk! – you’ve misjudged your hold and thwacked their head into the door frame. Oh the guilt!
2 Clipping their finger instead of their nail
Nipping your newborn’s tiny finger with the nail clippers while cutting their nails is a parenting rite of passage, and one that you’ll beat yourself up over for weeks. Their tears only last a few minutes, but you’ll still be sobbing hours later.
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3 Leaving them on the sofa for just one second
You were absolutely certain that your baby hadn’t learned to roll yet, until you popped them down on the sofa while you nipped into the kitchen to grab your cuppa – and came back seconds later to discover them on the floor.
Cue a frantic dash to A&E to check that you haven’t left them with permanent brain damage.
4 Getting caught short with no baby wipes
You can guarantee that your baby’s biggest ever poo explosion will happen when you’re out and about and have left the baby wipes at home.
You use anything you can to mop up the mess but, funnily enough, your baby’s vest and hat don’t quite cut it.
5 Driving off without strapping the car seat in
You could have sworn that you checked the car seat before you set off, but when you pull into the drive at home, you’re horrified to realise that your baby was strapped into the seat – but the seat wasn’t strapped into the car.
Sleep deprivation has a lot to answer for.
6 Holding your baby up in the air after a feed
We’ve all done it: lifted our baby up over our head after a feed, just to hear that adorable giggle, only to end up with a face and hair full of milky puke. Never again.
7 Forgetting to up-size the spare clothes in the changing bag
You thought you were doing quite well in the organised mummy stakes – but then your six-month-old baby has a nappy leakage while you’re at music group and you realise that the spare outfit you always keep in the changing bag is age 0-3 months.
Well, you never know, the skin-tight sleepsuit look might catch on …
8 Taking your baby out for dinner
When you were pregnant you vowed that you wouldn’t let parenthood cramp your style, so you decide to test the theory by going out for a romantic dinner with your other half, expecting your baby to sleep peacefully in their car seat next to the table.
Instead, they wake up the minute you enter the restaurant and spend the next 45 minutes screaming until you leave in embarrassment having only managed half your starter.
Next time, you’ll stick to McDonald's.
9 Dropping your phone on their head
Catching up on Facebook while your baby is having a feed is all well and good - until you fumble your phone and drop it straight on their head. Our own mothers never had these problems!
10 Leaving the bath towel in the bedroom
It’s been drummed into you that babies can drown in just 5cm of water and must never, ever, EVER be left unattended in the bath. So why oh why didn’t you remember that you’d left the towel on your bed before you put your baby in the tub?
You scoop up your wet, wriggly baby - trying your very best NOT to drop her - grab the towel from the bedroom...and start all over again.
11 Checking to see whether your sleeping baby is still breathing
It’s taken hours of feeding, rocking and shushing, but your baby is finally asleep in their cot – or are they?
You’re suddenly possessed by the fear that they’ve stopped breathing and rush in to check on them, but no sooner have you laid a finger on their chest than their eyes spring open and they start wailing.
Yep, very much alive.
12 Spraying milk all over Starbucks
After weeks of practice, you’ve got this breastfeeding lark sorted at last – so much so that you’re even brave enough to do it in public.
But just as you’re feeling smugly confident in your ability to nurse your baby and drink a latte at the same time, they pop off your boob and you squirt milk all over the coffee shop. Oops.
13 Planning to meet friends at 10am
You haven’t been out of your PJs before midday for weeks; whatever made you think you could get out of the house at that time?
At least you can count on your friends to all be as late and flustered as you!
14 Going out without breastpads
There are so many things to remember when you’re attempting to leave the house with your baby that it’s inevitable that something will get forgotten.
It’s only when you look down and notice two huge wet patches on your t-shirt that you remember what it was.
15 Getting wee in your eye
Got a baby boy? Then expect to spend your first weeks of motherhood being hosed in the face before you realise that the very first thing you do when you take off his nappy is to whip the clean one over his bits at lightning speed.
16 Spilling your lunch on the baby
When you have a clingy baby, there’s no choice but to eat lunch with them in your arms. It’s only later, when you discover a chip in their nappy, that you realise that multitasking isn’t quite as easy as you thought.
You can’t help being slightly baffled by how it got through all those layers of clothes, though …
New baby? You need this book: First-Time Parent: The honest guide to coping brilliantly and staying sane in your baby’s first year by Lucy Atkins. See more details here at Amazon.
Learn more about what to expect from your newborn baby here.
